


push away my fear

by hollyhobbit101



Series: Season 13 tags [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode: s13e10 Wayward Sisters, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, POV Claire Novak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 22:44:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14223408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyhobbit101/pseuds/hollyhobbit101
Summary: Kaia was different. Special. She was unlike anyone else Claire had ever met - beautiful and smart and funny and amazing. She was perfect.(And isn't that the point? Kaia was)





	push away my fear

Claire has watched people she loves die before. She had held her mom as she bled out in Claire's arms; she had watched her father's body walk out the door with another being stuffed inside it.

(She knows Jimmy Novak didn't die until long after that moment, but she likes to pretend he did. It's easier that way.)

Being a hunter means death - for you, for your loved ones, for the people you can't save. That's the way things are, and Claire was fine with it. For a long time, she was fine with it. She always considered death as inevitable for someone like her, but damn it all if she wasn't going to go down fighting. That's what being a hunter is about. You fight, you save, you die. It was fine.

And then.

Patience's vision made it all real, and suddenly Claire was afraid. Maybe she had always been afraid, but she had been able to push it down before. But things were different now. She wanted to live, wanted to make amends with Jody and with Alex. Wanted to spend more time with Kaia. More importantly, she didn't want to see anyone else she loved die, not again. She couldn't lose someone else.

(She couldn't, but she would)

Kaia was different. Special. She was unlike anyone else Claire had ever met - beautiful and smart and funny and amazing. She was perfect.

(And isn't that the point? Kaia _was_ )

* * *

 

Claire dreams about Kaia, sometimes. Occasionally, it's just nothing. Her smile, her laugh, the light in her eyes when they'd compared scars on Jody's porch. Things that fade as soon as she wakes, and Claire feels all the more empty for it.

Most of the time, though, her mind isn't that kind. She sees the bad place, the spear in Kaia's stomach with her blood bubbling up around it, and all Claire can do is hold Kaia's hand and watch the life slowly drain out of her. Her eyes are pained and resigned and _you swore you would protect her-_ until they're not. Until she's dead.

Claire wakes up with tears in her eyes, but she refuses to let them fall. Not yet. Instead, she turns to her wall, completely covered with research and lore on alternate dimensions, and smiles. Whoever killed Kaia, wherever they are, she will find them. And she'll make them pay.


End file.
